blond moments

These have randomly bubbled up from my conciousness lately, so I thought I would share. If nothing else, you can always roll your eyes at me and wonder how I make it through the day without smashing my head against the floor in sheer frustration at my own blondness. (Answer: I don’t. I mean, I do smash my head against the floor, but usually it’s because I tripped on something.)

Last year DarthFredd kept using this one word in his conversation, and I liked it. It was a happy, random-sounding word, so I decided to incorporate it into more of my daily speech. That worked until I said it to one of my sisters, and then they asked, “Um, Princess, do you know what a wang is?”

Last week I loaded a bunch of stuff in my car that needed to go to the apartment, but before I went over I had to go to Target and buy sheets and then on to Wal-Mart for groceries. So I was hurtling down the highway at a mad clip, trying to arrive before the store closed, when I heard a strange and mysterious noise from the outside of the car. Kind of a rattling noise.
Now, you have to understand that I am petrified of noises in/around/beside my car. I’m helpless when it comes to things mechanical; worse, I’m homicidal if a motor is involved. If you want your car killed, all I have to do is come nearby and *blip* it will sputter to a halt. Or smash to a halt. Or somehow cease its existence. I’ve killed cars, lawnmowers, and the occaisional truck taillight.
So anyway, I heard this noise and a thousand possibilities, none of them good, blow through my mind. I pulled over. Turned on my hazard lights. Got out and examined my right rear tire. It felt firm. Nothing seemed to be wrong. But I know I heard a noise…Oh! There’s something wrapped around the stem thingy where you fill it with air. I pulled on it, looked closely. oh. So that’s the problem.
Apparently when I loaded the car there was the one particular wrap blose with really long, thin ties that didn’t make it all the way into the car and the string had wrapped itself around the stem thingy and disconnected from the blouse and was beating the tire every time it turned.
Yeah, I felt blond.

~ by wildeyedwonder on March 30, 2005.