Because people seem intent on holding me responsible for the wardrobes of my sisters-in-law. And I just don’t get it. I think what people don’t understand, don’t realize, is that I refuse to act like their mom. Will I take them shopping? Yes. Will I give an opinion on what they’re wearing and/or buying? If they ask for it. I do not compliment them on an outfit that breaks established guidelines, or if I do, it’s with a disclaimer, “That’s cute, but it’s too short for church.”
You see, I’m not their mom. They don’t want me to be, I don’t even want to try. It’s their dad’s and brothers’ responsibility to police their clothing. I’ll help–sometimes I point out to one of the guys if a too-short skirt made it to church or something like that. But there’s a whole church watching them, forming opinions on what they wear, and I refuse to join in. They don’t need another person fretting about their appearances, when what matters are their hearts. I’m not saying that everyone is solely concerned about appearances–I know for a fact that some people are investing in the girls, talking to them, spending time with them. But most certainly not all.
Here’s the thing: I’ve talked to the girls about this multiple times, and they understand what I’m saying. I don’t want the girls to have my standards, or the church’s standards, or even their mom’s standards. I want them to have their own relationship with the Lord, and let Him set their standards. Does that mean they may end up with the same standard as their mom? It could happen! But if that is the direction in which the Lord leads, it’s still their standard. Yes, they’re still at home, so they have to honor the preferences of their father. I understand that. I emphasize it to the girls. And yet, at some point they must have their own relationship with the Lord.


~ by wildeyedwonder on June 22, 2006.

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