not a bit pink in the face

Just finished receiving my morning razzing from the guys. They think it’s simply the funniest thing ever that I’m a virgin at 24. A lot of people think that, actually. Anyway, my coworkers love cracking jokes about it, especially about the whole honeymoon, and how much sight-seeing I’m not going to be doing because I want to, um, stay in my ship’s cabin.

And if that makes them laugh, well, I’ve heard laughter is good for you. So laugh away. It really doesn’t matter to me. Trust me, after some of the things I’ve been called, just being laughed at isn’t really a problem.

Oh, and for the record, it’s not like I go around proudly proclaiming my virginity. But I’m not ashamed of it, and people somehow feel the freedom to ask. So I answer honestly. And they get shocked expressions on their faces, or laugh, or call me “repressed.” Which I don’t get. Because I do NOT go around asking others how many sexual partners they’ve had, and if I do happen to know, I don’t laugh at them for being promiscuous. I’m sad for them, really.

And today the conversation went like this.

Toni: “I was a virgin when I got married. I swear on my mother’s grave. But if I knew then what I know now, I wouldn’t have been.”
BigT: *laughs* (speaking to me) “You’re going to be like, I’ve been missing out on this??? Man, I should have started years ago.”
*all laugh*
Me: “Did you know that if, when you get married, even one partner has been previously sexually active, it raises your likelihood of divorce by 50%?”

*crickets chirping*

That’s what I thought. You can laugh at me, people, but I have no communicable diseases. I’m not ruled by my hormones. I don’t wake up, roll over, and wonder what I was thinking or where that guy came from. I don’t worry about being good in bed; I don’t obsess over whether Mr. Man loves me or my body. I’ve made a lifestyle choice and stuck with it, for religious reasons, and because I’ve always wanted to give my–once someday, now soon–marriage the best possible odds.

So laugh if you want, but it really doesn’t bother me. You’re just burning calories, and that’s a good thing.


~ by wildeyedwonder on October 7, 2005.

4 Responses to “not a bit pink in the face”

  1. Lady and I both were virgins where we got married, and we were pretty proud of that.

    The only downer was that when things got very difficult a decade later, she wondered about what all she’d missed by being with only one man in her life. That crisis and subsequent experimentation has been… extraordinarily difficult to deal with.

    I would suggest: know that you know that you know that you know that this is who and what you want. So when things get difficult and nasty and you can’t remember why you ever married Mr.Man, you can go back to the original reasons and convince yourself again that you made the right choice.

    In my experience, what they tell you in church and youth group and Sunday School is woefully insufficient when live rears its ugly head and slaps you in the mouth. I’m still a Christian, and I still have only made love to one woman in my life, but yikes, I was not prepared…

  2. Hey, I think it’s wonderful that you’ve decided to wait, and that you’re not afraid to let everyone know your thoughts. Why is everyone always so preoccupied with what other people are doing with their lives? Must be because they are not happy with their own lives, right? Thanks for coming over to Manic Mom and saying some of the nicest things in my defense! I look forward to reading more of your blog when I can! Steph

  3. Try being older and a guy… makes them think you’re gay. :/

  4. I am proud of the fact that there are still Christians that think purity is a big deal & that it’s worth standing up for!!!

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