a much-needed explanation for my boringness of late

I’m concerned. I appear to be turning into my mother. Instead of debating wether I feel like eating a Whopper or a large order of onion petals, I’m weighing the various merits of health cleanses. Apple juice or lemonade? Juicing or Herbal Fiber Blend? Even my shopping has changed. I’m not stocking up on Ramen noodles and Ben & Jerry’s; I’m looking for new and exotic types of fresh veggies.
The very idea of all this alarms me. I was always the junk-food junkie at our house. I stole my sister’s easter candy two years in a row; I could eat half a bag of peanut-butter m+ms in a sitting; I perfected the art of stealing candy out of the bag without mom noticing.
Ok, so I was a bit pudgy, too. But I was always detirmined I was not going to grow up and have my life guided by food. I wasn’t going to feed my kids tofu. I wasn’t going to make eating potato chips a mortal sin. I most certainly was NOT going to pinch excess weight and proclaim, “Glop glop glop! Gloop gloop gloop! All those gloopie gloppies!” like some crazed Willie Wonka of the Bean Sprout factory.
I was going to be normal.
Somehow, normalcy seems to have eluded me.

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~ by wildeyedwonder on May 4, 2005.

4 Responses to “a much-needed explanation for my boringness of late”

  1. I was the kid who opened the bag of chocolate chips, ate half, then resealed the bag with a curling iron. Somehow I thought no one would ever notice that the 12oz bag actually only contained about 5oz.

  2. Q.O.S. – that’s a hoot… I did that, but with a bottle of bourbon.. oops.
    Princess, it’ll pass. Back when I had a metabolism that wasn’t betraying me, I too knew the sweet ecstacy of eating and entire pound and a half bag of M&M’s, chasing it down with a soda or five, and then going out to party…
    Alas, now I am relegated to watching the food I eat.. but not totally ignoring my sweet tooth 😉

  3. My mom always had a stash of chocolate hidden *somewhere* in the house. Fortunately, she wasn’t too good at hiding it. Unfortunately, she always knew when I’d found it.

  4. Green bell peppers kick butt.

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