the best of times

This will have to be brief, because I should get to bed at some point. But I’m going to flash back to a conversation I had with Sharon on Sunday…we were discussing the whole thing about me intimidating other girls (I do!) and why that is (I still haven’t figured out why) and then it turned toward the type of girls who intimidate us. And Sharon described them as the tiny, adorable, girls who seem so put together and popular, with not good reason to be popular. She named a couple, and I was like, “Yes! Those are the type!” They just seem so…perfect! They’re classy, and fun, and can carry a conversation. And then I had a thought. I was like, “You know Sharon, to most other people, we fit in that group.” And she thought, and agreed with me. Which is strange, because neither of us feel like we do! (We’re too tall, for one thing.) And if people could just see inside of me…and realize that I am not nearly as confident as I appear, and my life isn’t nearly as perfect as it might look…would they treat me any differently?
I wonder what it’s like to wake up in the morning and not dread looking in the mirror.
But you know–that doesn’t matter. What matters is that I am not as I will be. Someday I’ll have a new body, a glorified body. And someday, I won’t even care. Because I’ll be spending my days in praise of my Savior…and all I will think of is Him. Until then….my heart will go on singing.

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~ by wildeyedwonder on September 18, 2003.

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